I Miss You. I Love You. ALWAYS.

Janelle Brown suffered through another unwanted first this month.

A couple weeks ago, the veteran Sister Wives star acknowledged her 55th birthday… but she did so in solemn fashion due to the absence of son Garrison.

The 25-year old committed suicide about two months before this occasion.

Janelle Brown looks very sadJanelle Brown looks very sad
Janelle Brown looks very sad in this confessional on Sister Wives. (TLC)

This past Monday, meanwhile, Janelle shared a photo of a homemade pie on Instagram — and then launched into an explanation behind why this dessert item made her sad.

“Mother’s Day was surprisingly emotional for me. It just never has been a big holiday for me,” Janelle wrote as a caption to this image.

“My children have always shown up for me and made me feel special everyday. Especially since they became independent adults and weren’t home all the time.”

Janelle and Kody Brown are parents to six children.

In addition to Garrison, the exes are also the parents to Logan, 29, Madison, 27, Hunter, 27, Gabriel, 22, and Savannah, 19.

On May 20, Janelle wrote how this year, Mother’s Day felt “different,” continuing as follows:

“All weekend I felt the grief so close to the surface.

“And it was especially poignant when I made this simple pie. Our strawberry picking excursion combined with the fact that I randomly found rhubarb at the local farmers market made it feel like this pie was destined.”

Back on May 16, Garrison’s cause of death was revealed by an autopsy report.

Yes, he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. But this document also confirmed that Garrison’s blood alcohol level was .307% and that alcohol poisoning played a role in his passing.

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Janelle Brown is featured here on the Sister Wives tell-all special. (Image Credit: TLC)

Concluded Janelle in her latest, heart-shattering post:

Strawberry Rhubarb is a huge favorite at our house and maybe no one loved it more than Garrison. And that made this pie a little bitter sweet.

I love you honey and miss you every day.

It’s all just so very, VERY sad.

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Janelle Brown gets deep in this scene from Sister Wives. (Image Credit: TLC)

Janelle and Kody released a joint statement the day after their son was found dead:

“Kody and I are deeply saddened to announce the loss of our beautiful boy Robert Garrison Brown. He was a bright spot in the lives of all who knew him. His loss will leave such a big hole in our lives that it takes our breath away.

“We ask that you please respect our privacy and join us in honoring his memory,” the message read.

Ever since, Janelle and other Brown family members have paid tribute to Garrison via social media and other platforms.

Janelle Brown on season 18Janelle Brown on season 18
Janelle Brown has something to say in this Season 18 confessional. (TLC)

On April 10, for example, Garrison would have turned 26 years old.

“Happy Birthday Sweetheart,” his mom wrote alongside a compilation video featuring clips and photos of her late son on his past birthdays.

“We are missing you terribly today. It’s hard to believe you aren’t here anymore. We talked a lot about you today and even went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner (your favorite place). I still feel you nearby sometimes.

“And I’m grateful we will see each other again when my journey is completed.”

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